About k_lylepad : I'm weird...but I think that's okay.
k_lylepad's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
k_lylepad's favorite FMLs
by althornton2462 / 10/11/2015 at 8:27pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
by Hank-T4 / 10/11/2015 at 7:45am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 2:39am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway". Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22am / Australia / Love
by balls / 10/02/2015 at 1:49am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML
by DontBeRude / 09/28/2015 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Love
by DSCC / 09/27/2015 at 11:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
by Annie / 08/24/2015 at 4:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML
by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids
Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML
by OhWhoCares / 08/17/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by gross / 08/06/2015 at 1:28pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by telling me he got another girl pregnant and… Today, we are staying at my boyfriend's grandparents' house. His brother clogged the only toilet. I… Today, my fiance threatened to break up with me because I said her sister couldn't afford to live…