jwbfml

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jwbfml

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 December 1977 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2286
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jwbfml : I am here for laughs. I live in Mississippi. If you ever want to feel better about yourself, come visit us down here.

jwbfml's page activity

Visits<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 12:14am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:35am<b>foundandlost</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:06pm<b>cluch3</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:05pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:47am<b>_Willa_</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 11:23pm<b>mantilla</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 5:04pm<b>Sootie247</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 6:04am<b>odod777</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 1:43pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 11:27am<b>perdix</b> - the 08/23/2012 at 1:27am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 08/02/2012 at 5:29am<b>Marceline_17</b> - the 07/24/2012 at 2:59pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 8:48pm<b>kiwi2006</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 11:41am<b>GothicAngel17</b> - the 07/08/2012 at 10:57am<b>Duuvve</b> - the 06/11/2012 at 5:28pm

jwbfml's FML badges

The rules are the rules

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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jwbfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

by piemasterzim / 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

by stoych / 10/08/2012 at 3:14am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 1:31am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

by kiwi2323 / 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm / United States / Intimacy