juventis

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Offline (the 09/20/2016 at 7:56am)

juventis

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 647
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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juventis's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 8:27pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>mikbrooke</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:18pm<b>potato2fries</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 2:54pm<b>xauuxa</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 4:27pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 2:27am

juventis's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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juventis's favorite FMLs

Today, my bitchy manager got back from vacation. To be nice, I asked her how it was. She said "not long enough". I mumbled "I agree". She definitely heard. FML.

Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML

Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML

by never dip the wick in crazy / 04/15/2016 at 3:00pm / Romania / Love

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had to console my bawling 6-year-old son and explain that his sister was lying when she told him that when boys in our family turn 13, they turn into girls. I'm not sure who disappoints me more right now. FML

by jts / 02/20/2016 at 4:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, a close friend told me she had no plans for her birthday. I found out she was lying when I had to serve her and 9 other mutual friends dinner at the restaurant I work at. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I wasn't invited or that none of them even remembered that I worked there. FML

by not invited / 12/12/2015 at 8:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

by hiitisbrooke / 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

by nonymous human subject / 11/14/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

by bianca131 / 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

by milked / 02/27/2015 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy