About julako : "I am a linguist. I love ambiguity more than most people."
julako's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
julako's favorite FMLs
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
by PinkMonkeys / 11/23/2016 at 1:33pm / Love
by calgarygal / 11/22/2016 at 9:53pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to make things less awkward by complimenting my Tai Chi partner's ring and he says, "Thanks, it's a purity ring!" I said, "I used to have one of those. Would you believe me if I said I lost it in a river?" Now my entire Tai Chi class thinks I lost my virginity in a river. FML
Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML
by daughter in law / 11/08/2016 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy
by I'm an asshole / 11/03/2016 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2016 at 6:12am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work
by cereal stepper / 10/23/2016 at 5:42am / Miscellaneous
by knifewow / 10/20/2016 at 4:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML
by TomorrowMaybe / 10/08/2016 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Health
by jaimpastaggle / 10/06/2016 at 10:24am / France / Kids
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
by Pissed.Off.Mom. / 10/06/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Da Boss / 10/04/2016 at 9:19pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work