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julako

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julako

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2580
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About julako : "I am a linguist. I love ambiguity more than most people."

julako's page activity

Visits<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:36am<b>darkstarrising</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:59am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:16am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:16pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:54pm<b>xorenae</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:43pm<b>steve1122</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:58pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Rizzy_A</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:15pm<b>mlowy</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:28pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 5:58pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:52pm<b>iYamEmoRay</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 10:03am<b>jimmymanning58</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:59pm<b>im_fran</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:56pm

Fucked!<b>rogwest</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:27pm

julako's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of julako's badges

julako's favorite FMLs

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (1405)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22901) - you deserved it (9200)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (2873)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29521) - you deserved it (3813)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31879) - you deserved it (4203)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27070) - you deserved it (2048)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML

#21428154
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (2626)

On 06/18/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by unsuccessful popping - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-boyfriend dumped sand into the crankcase of my truck and then filled it to the top with water after I dumped him for being immature and not respecting my things. FML

#21427999
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (2998)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

#21418531
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (4375)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Sleepy (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML

#21417667
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15281) - you deserved it (23498)

On 05/29/2015 at 4:15pm - health - by not a kiddy fiddler really (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (2451)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

#21415900
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14450) - you deserved it (45892)

On 05/26/2015 at 2:54am - money - by stupid (man) - United States (California)



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