joshbrown33

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Offline (the 06/03/2015 at 12:34pm)

joshbrown33

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 813
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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joshbrown33's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:16pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:16pm<b>wankersrus</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:24pm<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 8:54am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:23pm<b>DEATHSNIGHTMARE</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 2:02am<b>Cj4132</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 11:17pm<b>mbonzo35</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:59pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:33pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:31pm

joshbrown33's FML badges

The Mixer

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joshbrown33's favorite FMLs

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

by ShampooThief / 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

by CK95 / 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

by thewrittenrebel / 10/28/2014 at 3:40am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

by anonymous / 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

by thankssiren / 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

by Venus / 03/13/2014 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work