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Offline (the 08/14/2016 at 11:29pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 795
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jordynsage's page activity

Visits<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 5:37pm<b>CJ77</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 6:22pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 12:04pm<b>aFeeble0ldMan</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 4:12am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:30am<b>lizzeh333</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:06pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:44pm<b>macdogruff</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 9:14pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:22am<b>MonaLisaIdk</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Chrriis</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:51am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 11:02am<b>kospedian</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:04pm<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:57pm<b>blcksocks</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:43am<b>paravoz</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:13am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:01pm

Fucked!<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 11:37pm<b>macdogruff</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:14am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:23am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:02am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:13pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:16pm<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:22pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:54pm

jordynsage's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of jordynsage's badges

jordynsage's favorite FMLs

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

by Pisser / 06/26/2014 at 12:57am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

by shart up, your puns suck / 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

by HomicidalPegasus / 05/25/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

by CapnCrunchKat / 05/09/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Delaware) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

by mlowy / 05/09/2014 at 1:35am / Azerbaijan (Baki) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

by imnotastranger / 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm / Kids

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

by unlovedmommy / 05/08/2014 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

by gvmfvr / 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm / Animals

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

by weak / 02/23/2014 at 9:36am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

by dsamanthas / 02/23/2014 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

by dontgothere / 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy