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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML
Today, I had a dream inhich I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off,hile in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Taday I was in te restroom at work snickering at some funny stories on ma pone wile I took a dump. Little did I know tat te assole in te next stall would report me to our boss claiming e'd eard wierd noises ten lookd over te divider and witnessd me jacking off to porn. FML
Today , I found the carcass of the frog that got into mah house last week. It was a horrifying sight , but not nerely as horrifying as the fact that I found it in mah refrigerator. No , I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, Mah Husband And I Were Fooling Around, And Things Got Heated. In The Heat Of Things, I Told Him To Tear Mah Panties Off. He Took It Literally And Yanked At Them With All His Might. It's Been Two Hours And I Still Can't Walk Straight. FML
Today my friend thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't bieng enough of a cockbite, because he looked at mah junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics an totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party 4 a bunc of eigt year olds. One of tem decided it'd be funny to ave a contest to see wo could make te most bubble wit tere farts. It led to tree kids sitting temselve in te pool, and me aving te dubiou onor of cleaning it up. fat FML
Today , the window cleaner did his round at mah house. I sat at mah mrror applying makeup and doing mah hair. When he cummed to mah window , he yelled rather loudly , ( Stop putting on a show 4 me , u drty slut! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015