Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jonnied23

Offline (yesterday at 9:34pm) | Search for a member

jonnied23

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10036
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jonnied23's page activity

Visits<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:37am<b>doctor__who</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:47am<b>ScarletSarah</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:24pm<b>Val0</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 2:02pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 6:32pm<b>guss5441</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:47am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:34pm<b>tehman117</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:05am<b>jessal</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:32pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:58pm<b>drego5</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:14pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 12:48pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:22am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:21am<b>btob143</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:24am<b>LondonderryAir</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:58pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:37pm<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:35pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:34pm<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:59am<b>drego5</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:14am<b>homes7d</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:20pm

jonnied23's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of jonnied23's badges

jonnied23's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56859) - you deserved it (4188)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58694) - you deserved it (4964)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52917) - you deserved it (5639)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

#20832277
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53604) - you deserved it (5783)

On 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

#20832005
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46154) - you deserved it (4433)

On 08/11/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by ew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63726) - you deserved it (5876)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

#20829596
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (7594)

On 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (7226)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (3581)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51723) - you deserved it (19014)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60048) - you deserved it (16812)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51078) - you deserved it (9385)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52969) - you deserved it (42916)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48874) - you deserved it (3919)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61223) - you deserved it (4668)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: