About jonahwalzer : Idk brahh
jonahwalzer's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
jonahwalzer's favorite FMLs
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
by grossesfesses / 05/15/2013 at 2:58am / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous
by insideout / 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
by Daniel_rules / 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and… Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform… Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I…