Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jon06

Offline (the 05/05/2015 at 4:30pm) | Search for a member

jon06

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jon06's page activity

Visits<b>chashem</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:08pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:28am<b>m1e0l</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:56pm

jon06's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

jon06's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (11899)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (118347)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38939) - you deserved it (10503)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55459) - you deserved it (27773)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67646) - you deserved it (10409)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22606) - you deserved it (7944)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12993) - you deserved it (33674)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33701) - you deserved it (9973)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17370) - you deserved it (41242)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (68482)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

#6325781
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (37462)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (108166)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (2694)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (18247)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: