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jon06

Offline (the 02/09/2016 at 5:43pm) | Search for a member

jon06

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 720
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jon06's page activity

Visits<b>chashem</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:08pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:28am<b>m1e0l</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:56pm

jon06's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

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Mobility

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jon06's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48801) - you deserved it (5535)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41183) - you deserved it (10321)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45629) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61445) - you deserved it (3703)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (3243)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55062) - you deserved it (12549)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46225) - you deserved it (3670)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58657) - you deserved it (6763)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64462) - you deserved it (22809)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54942) - you deserved it (6926)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

#20782409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56714) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm - love - by WTF (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63060) - you deserved it (13239)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (77844)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65154) - you deserved it (21349)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)



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