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johnnynumnuts

Offline (the 08/18/2015 at 7:14pm) | Search for a member

johnnynumnuts

3Fucked!

johnnynumnutsjohnnynumnuts
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 966
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About johnnynumnuts : Add me on Sc: Nickkessler98, or message me!

johnnynumnuts's page activity

Visits<b>mallaryheintz</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:33pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:45pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:24am<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>jadenn111</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:18am<b>shutupallison</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:01pm<b>airassault</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:32pm<b>KatVa</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:11am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:19am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>Schoolsystem</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:26pm<b>deidradanielle</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:13am<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:26pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:56pm<b>casey_bishhh</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:48pm

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:11am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:48am

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johnnynumnuts's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (13063)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39375) - you deserved it (3664)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (3776)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29970) - you deserved it (25147)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49815) - you deserved it (3946)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23735) - you deserved it (37640)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (3395)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (18159)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57923) - you deserved it (6041)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59387) - you deserved it (5651)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55968) - you deserved it (4179)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

#20935542
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57662) - you deserved it (5516)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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