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joefly

Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 9:52pm) | Search for a member

joefly

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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joefly's page activity

Visits<b>lnsc10</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:00pm<b>TheOnlyBob</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 5:32pm

joefly's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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joefly's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (8187)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

#20978895
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41618) - you deserved it (15606)

On 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67448) - you deserved it (5602)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (11137)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49404) - you deserved it (3997)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59891) - you deserved it (5140)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50063) - you deserved it (24817)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (38150)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64892) - you deserved it (6432)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84351) - you deserved it (8728)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (28169)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you deserved it (8425)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (5376)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)



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