About joea21 : Country, gym, and beer makes a perfect life.
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by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
by fuck you, boss / 12/20/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML
by Wow. / 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm / China (Shanghai) / Love
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML
by MzZombicidal / 12/17/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML
by puking now / 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
by thank u usa / 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm / Luxembourg / Work
Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML
by Lemurcat / 12/11/2013 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, marks my third day of school being closed due to snow. One, and only one, of the teachers has decided that we have to do work online in the meantime. I just so happen to be in three of his classes. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 3:50am / United States / Love