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jng131

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jng131
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15268
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jng131's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

#1050396
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59838) - you deserved it (6589)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38945) - you deserved it (6323)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90543) - you deserved it (6643)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90543) - you deserved it (6643)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56431) - you deserved it (2291)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201267) - you deserved it (19790)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45870) - you deserved it (23324)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States

Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML

#883158
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72714) - you deserved it (2492)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

#882663
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (9898)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by atang (man) - United States (California)

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49459) - you deserved it (4448)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
664 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26378) - you deserved it (453632)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (207905)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

#797923
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11932) - you deserved it (133674)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)



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