jng131

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jng131

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18284
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jng131's page activity

Visits<b>KRD5</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 12:29pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>jadeyncross</b> - the 08/11/2010 at 3:25pm<b>bert01024</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 12:24am<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 7:25pm<b>babymama1029</b> - the 04/21/2009 at 9:09pm

Fucked!<b>KRD5</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 6:29pm

jng131's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jng131's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

by TMI / 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML

by thompson773 / 04/20/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

by yuckspider / 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

by guessimdead / 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 2:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

by englishtrio / 04/18/2009 at 2:45am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

by fmylifebadddd / 04/18/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

by fmylifebadddd / 04/18/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

by fmylifebadddd / 04/18/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

by fmylifebadddd / 04/18/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

by shutupandsmile18 / 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

by lalalohan / 04/17/2009 at 11:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous