jncwmnd

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jncwmnd

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12231
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jncwmnd's page activity

Visits<b>LiteralDork</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 11:46pm<b>brennarhian</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:57pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:36am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:14pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:41pm<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 3:05am<b>blakeyboy22</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 4:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:05pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:49pm<b>ohdammit101</b> - the 06/10/2010 at 4:10pm<b>squigglyshark</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 10:53pm<b>oKeepthePeaceo</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 1:29am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 11:17pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 11:06am<b>depinaariana</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 11:19am<b>youaresofucked</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 8:33am<b>soccerchic64life</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 8:37pm

jncwmnd's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jncwmnd's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

by thelarkscaw / 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

by imfromtexas02 / 06/06/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

by NotSoCool / 05/15/2009 at 12:41am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

by screamo / 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money