jmann8811

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Offline (the 05/20/2016 at 5:04am)

jmann8811

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 April 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About jmann8811 : $.B.Q

jmann8811's page activity

Visits<b>KrisEvergreen</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:20pm<b>linderisweird</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 11:50pm<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 8:15pm<b>proudspanishgirl</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 4:10pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:42am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 4:36pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:07pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:40am<b>RMfml33</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:24am<b>Daddyslittletoy</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:05am<b>rynoyhedino</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 12:10am<b>Necropool</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:59pm<b>nandybear</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:20am<b>cheeology</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:07pm<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:30am<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 12:42am<b>imhisgummybear</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 12:38am<b>Quendolin</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:46am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Daddyslittletoy</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 6:05am<b>cheeology</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 6:59pm

jmann8811's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of jmann8811's badges

jmann8811's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

by bugger / 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm / Work

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

by BondingTime / 03/17/2014 at 5:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

by Anon / 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

by Ginger_Gawd / 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy