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jlev23

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jlev23

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Today, mah friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under mah pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42688) - you deserved it (4411)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I eard ma usband say from outside , "Seriously Dan,at could go wrong?" Tis was followed a few seconds later by a bang an screaming!! Turns out e'd tried to smas is ead troug a wooden plank lyk a martial artist an failed!! He ended up wit splinters an a concussion!! FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (4864)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY, AT MY FIRST DAY WORKING AT WALMART, A CUSTOMAR ASKAD IF WA HAVA ANY AGG COOKARS . I SAID I WASN'T SURA, BUT THAT I'D BA "AGGSTATIC" TO GO ASK FOR HIM . THA FIRST CLUA I GOT TO SUGGAST HA HATAD PUNS WAS HIM YALLING "DON'T GAT SMART WITH MA, BOY!" AND THAN THRAATANING TO KILL MA . FML

#21180841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42271) - you deserved it (9470)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today... while at the waterpark... some guy cummed up to me an profusely thanked me fir wereing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49383) - you deserved it (7643)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today , I sent ma grlfriend a request to confrm our relationsip on Facebook. Se accepted , ten canged er screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52605) - you deserved it (11513)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger drectly at mah face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

#21162381
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43497) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/04/2014 at 1:07am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

I startad going on and on about dogs and thara diffarant typas of braad, bahaviours, axpactancy, atc. Whan somaona askad ma how I know all this stuff, I maant to say, "I fucking lova animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I lova fucking animals". FML

#21131182
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49570) - you deserved it (22238)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my art teacer sowed off a painting of is name e got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to im. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45301) - you deserved it (4743)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today... due to mah short temper... I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (55442)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today In The Middle Of Sex My Girlfriend Yelled "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I Couldn't Finish!! FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58894) - you deserved it (7503)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

YESTERDAY, MAH DAD FOUND OUT THAT I'M A MEMBER ON A BODYBUILDING FORUM AN DECIDED TO JOIN IT TOO. IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW HOURS, BUT HE'S ALREADY TOLD EVERYONE THAT HE'S MAH DAD, POSTED THAT I'M A ( TOTAL PUSSY IN REAL LIFE ), AN QUESTIONED MAH SEXUALITY. THANKS. BIG FAT FML

#21112140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (4809)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Taday My Naighbor Askad To Coma Ovar And Usa My Laptop. Sha Showad Up Drunk, Grabbad My Boobs, And Askad If I'd Avar Had A Lasbian Axparianca. Wa Both Hava Husbands And Kids; Tha Kids Wara In Tha Room. FML

#21109873
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52515) - you deserved it (5221)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today , my psycho ex boyfriend , who I broke up with over a month ago showd up at my work yelling an crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41581) - you deserved it (4273)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

TODAY,ILE PLAYING BASKETBALL , MA FRIEND TANKED ME 4 PASSING TE BALL TO IM. I WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO TELL IM TAT TAT WAS ME SOOTING. FML

#21106910
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (4588)

On 04/07/2014 at 4:54pm - misc - by DetergentFrog6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me an was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. Hishole gang had gotten mugged,hich he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49156) - you deserved it (6069)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)



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