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jkmartinjk

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jkmartinjk
  • Town/Country : Eh, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1112
  • Number of comments : 344
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.

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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (34994)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

#2454603
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (49690)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44376) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

#2220782
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (10115)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

#2150029
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66857) - you deserved it (5966)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (82804)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51002) - you deserved it (10432)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (98501)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

#1313726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48532) - you deserved it (5343)

On 04/25/2009 at 3:51am - intimacy - by bongoboy - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9079) - you deserved it (71643)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (90460)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329223) - you deserved it (35707)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (60033)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (162802)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66322) - you deserved it (16923)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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