jkmartinjk

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jkmartinjk

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4046
  • Number of comments : 399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.

jkmartinjk's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:49pm<b>MasonSoccer23</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:05am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 6:06pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 6:26pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 1:30am<b>10220706</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:29am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:23am<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:48am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:38pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:04pm<b>PlsNarwals</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:50am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:56pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:45am<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:34pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Esoomian</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:23pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:58am<b>weedle99</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 6:52am

Fucked!<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:34pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:53am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:37am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:35pm<b>TiredOfThePain</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:03am

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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

by ohmygosh / 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

by _TaToRtOt_ / 07/18/2011 at 9:08am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

by alek / 07/14/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Work

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

by sm702 / 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

by Username / 07/08/2011 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

by Username / 06/19/2011 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

by AndieApocalypse / 06/03/2011 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

by valerie / 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy