About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.
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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 3:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by fluke / 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/17/2011 at 4:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love
by faceless_sailor8 / 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm / United States / Love
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
by Username / 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm / United States / Health
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals
by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
by Branski / 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn…