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jilldrankin's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
jilldrankin's favorite FMLs
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by Gibbster_ / 06/20/2014 at 1:05am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML
by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML
by sparkrok / 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by v1k1rox / 03/05/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Money
by mr1234 / 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by waymoreiwanted / 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML
by Stuck / 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy