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jgriff79

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jgriff79
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 December 1979 (34 years)
  • Number of visits : 552
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jgriff79's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

#21099355
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (6150)

On 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm - animals - by Galaxy (man) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you deserved it (6196)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

#20995385
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40206) - you deserved it (2597)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:02am - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

#20980454
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38648) - you deserved it (4615)

On 12/04/2013 at 1:39pm - love - by heartbroken - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

#20870098
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (4268) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/06/2013 at 7:56am - kids - by Anonyme - France (Basse-Normandie)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34465) - you deserved it (4921)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51726) - you deserved it (5349)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22515) - you deserved it (34322)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51655) - you deserved it (4249)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47650) - you deserved it (4305)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

#20802578
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48713) - you deserved it (3463)

On 07/25/2013 at 6:55am - misc - by chumpslolo - United States (Ohio)

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (5892)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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