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jessxoxo28

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jessxoxo28
  • Town/Country : NY, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 April 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 97623
  • Number of comments : 1162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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jessxoxo28's favorite FMLs

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (5397)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39303) - you deserved it (5036)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (2038)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11092) - you deserved it (22615)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (10306)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (10306)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (2993)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9994) - you deserved it (25192)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (2523)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

#7044957
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (29859)

On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (7616)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9335) - you deserved it (21469)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

#6809461
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18586) - you deserved it (3852)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:19am - work - by B (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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