jesspie

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jesspie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jesspie's page activity

Visits<b>draftskink</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 2:55pm<b>drego5</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:32pm<b>1__Cristi__1</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:58am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:12pm<b>davered89</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:20am<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:37pm<b>ScarletRoses92</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 3:04pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 12:50am<b>TheDrifter</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 1:36am

Fucked!<b>davered89</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 4:36am

jesspie's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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jesspie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

by kutekittykatz / 07/10/2013 at 4:58am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Animals

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

by LadyFahrenheit / 07/09/2013 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

by help / 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

by forever young / 07/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

by whorecrux / 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Maryland) / Love