jessicaazzzzzzzz

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jessicaazzzzzzzz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1376
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jessicaazzzzzzzz's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 9:59pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:43am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:45pm<b>idiotgenius</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Usuario</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:03am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:27am<b>1s4t0p3</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:24pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 5:26pm<b>steal_this</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 6:03pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 10:14pm<b>Mordeci</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 11:06pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 12:05am<b>roundnproud</b> - the 05/11/2012 at 2:34pm<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 05/09/2012 at 1:51pm<b>trueblue170</b> - the 05/08/2012 at 7:45am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:45am

jessicaazzzzzzzz's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

jessicaazzzzzzzz's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 5:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML

by minustoenail / 10/12/2012 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

by emilyhendrix0414 / 09/28/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Animals

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

by annonymous / 09/19/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

by Embarrassed / 08/07/2012 at 3:48am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

by Marcowalker95 / 08/07/2012 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

by Marcowalker95 / 08/07/2012 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous