Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessherself13

Search for a member

jessherself13

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5851
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jessherself13 : I'm studying to be a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. My favorite singer is Amanda Palmer and I like spicy foods.

jessherself13's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:54pm<b>sammie2new</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:59am<b>aiw14</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:15am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:23am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:48pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:44am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:17pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Demon_of_Light</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:17am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:47pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:13pm<b>BlockOfRedStone</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:33am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:51pm<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:42pm<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:44pm

Fucked!<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:17am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Aurokai</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:13am<b>KaitTheBarber</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:54am<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:15am

jessherself13's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of jessherself13's badges

jessherself13's favorite FMLs

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50162) - you deserved it (25734)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60761) - you deserved it (10301)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56976) - you deserved it (14066)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48437) - you deserved it (12850)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20686980
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64771) - you deserved it (8548)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:23am - love - by anonymous - Australia

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81558) - you deserved it (5083)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81558) - you deserved it (5083)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49751) - you deserved it (7334)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62950) - you deserved it (9136)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
116 comments

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64917) - you deserved it (9789)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53806) - you deserved it (7111)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52744) - you deserved it (3507)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: