jessherself13

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jessherself13

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6093
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jessherself13 : I'm studying to be a paramedic and eventually a firefighter. My favorite singer is Amanda Palmer and I like spicy foods.

jessherself13's page activity

Visits<b>Jamer99</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:17am<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:16pm<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 7:34pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:03pm<b>fkingshit</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:37am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:54pm<b>sammie2new</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 8:59am<b>aiw14</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:15am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:23am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:48pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:44am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:17pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:56pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Demon_of_Light</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:17am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:47pm

Fucked!<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:17am<b>PartyMoose</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Aurokai</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:13am<b>KaitTheBarber</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:54am<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:15am

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jessherself13's favorite FMLs

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

by OverIt / 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

by ashamedklutz / 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Work

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

by management / 02/20/2014 at 9:31pm / United States / Work

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

by time to lawyer up / 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

by snowlover / 02/16/2014 at 2:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

by jacey chreyest / 02/14/2014 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

by Shooting myself / 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

by jai90 / 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

by ramble ramble / 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.