Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jerryj

Online | Search for a member

jerryj

24Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7820
  • Number of comments : 461
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jerryj : o hai there...
BANANA BREAD!

jerryj's page activity

Visits<b>lkah</b> - 22 hours ago<b>caaxo</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:17am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:29am<b>MamaChey</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:49pm<b>BI4ze</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:47am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:30am<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:33pm<b>msk1155</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:46pm<b>tj1540</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:08am<b>couchcat</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:26am<b>plastix</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 7:44am<b>ForeignKestrel</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 10:05am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:54pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:30pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:33am<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 7:44am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:11pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 2:56am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:44am<b>Zufallian</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:00am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:35pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:33am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:15am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:02am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:53am<b>DanyilK</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:13am<b>lolbjarne</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:14pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:39pm<b>jquaw</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:28am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:53am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:40am<b>itsme82</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:18pm<b>666lolita666</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:27am

jerryj's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of jerryj's badges

jerryj's favorite FMLs

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

#21524799
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16540) - you deserved it (1081)

On 02/10/2016 at 11:57am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

#21524349
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19121) - you deserved it (3917)

On 02/09/2016 at 8:08am - love - by abnormallyadam - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML

#21524337
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (3772)

On 02/09/2016 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20171) - you deserved it (2686)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19703) - you deserved it (1518)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2075)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (3635)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (5040)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML

#21520448
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18743) - you deserved it (2810)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:24pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

#21520383
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (1271)

On 01/28/2016 at 11:05am - misc - by crinitis - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML

#21520184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (2716)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML

#21520005
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (7263)

On 01/27/2016 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

#21519950
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (1921)

On 01/27/2016 at 2:59am - work - by NotYourToy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

#21519668
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19798) - you deserved it (1463)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:09pm - kids - by justsomesummer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: