jenniferzamo

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Offline (the 02/12/2015 at 4:39am)

jenniferzamo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1328
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jenniferzamo's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:28am

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jenniferzamo's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

by RachelDC / 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML

by Boarder / 06/01/2009 at 8:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, two of my cousins sat me down and said they wanted to give me an early Birthday present. With straight faces, they look at me and say: "we signed you up for eHarmony, and paid for 12 months." Not only do my cousins think I need help finding a boyfriend, but they think it take a year. FML

by imnotTHATlonely / 05/18/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, While I was running around the block I had this urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

by djteller / 04/24/2009 at 8:13pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Love

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

by mags / 02/16/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

by thunder thighs / 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

by murphy / 02/02/2009 at 5:49am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

by iFail / 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous