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jenjen0146

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jenjen0146
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  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jenjen0146's favorite FMLs

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (5265)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51500) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (3430) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41985) - you deserved it (13982)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53100) - you deserved it (9597)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

#20737368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (2241)

On 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46014) - you deserved it (11862)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33221) - you deserved it (69317)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54387) - you deserved it (10839)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (4543)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55915) - you deserved it (5417)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18570) - you deserved it (2311)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38865) - you deserved it (3602)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38865) - you deserved it (3602)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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