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jellybear28

Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 9:59pm) | Search for a member

jellybear28

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 407
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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jellybear28's page activity

Visits<b>dianna869</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:43am<b>Schuyler16</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Iloveaussies</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:12am<b>nate025</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:08am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:33am<b>airborneranger7</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:07am<b>r_bolla47</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:53pm<b>carlosc123</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:10pm<b>melinal</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:24am

Fucked!<b>Schuyler16</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:59pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jellybear28's favorite FMLs

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55564) - you deserved it (18296)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62678) - you deserved it (8921)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40887) - you deserved it (4778)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45705) - you deserved it (3532)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55037) - you deserved it (4797)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (50609)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

#20944097
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36021) - you deserved it (41508)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44468) - you deserved it (32533) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (5752)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

#20517994
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12200) - you deserved it (46910)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21352) - you deserved it (41473)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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