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jellybean_jack

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jellybean_jack

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  • Number of visits : 407
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jellybean_jack's favorite FMLs

I was aving dinner wit my boyfriend's family... and e was saying ow well is driving lessons r going. During tis conversation is mum told im to "stop blowing yur own trumpet." He replied... "If I could do tat... I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave im a ig-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66315) - you deserved it (8437)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caugt sigt of a pair of guys grinning and filming me wit tere cellpones troug my window. FML

#20811460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (13213)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I Noticd Fraudulent Charges Made In Florida That Nearly Draind My Bank Account. After Reporting The Fraud To The Bank, I Returnd Home From A Weekend Away To Find A Note From My Husband. He An His Mistress Have Run Off To Florida To Start A Life Together, Apparently At My Expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53280) - you deserved it (3015)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today , my family and I went to feed carrots to te giraffes at te zoo. After I finised my first cup of carrots , I turned back to get some more. Suddenly , I was jerked back and a cunk of my air was ripped out. Te giraffe mistook te orange barrette in my air fir a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44669) - you deserved it (9633)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes , her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians , atheists an homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45958) - you deserved it (15066)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

I got a call from mah boyfriand's boss. Sha was wondaring if ha was okay, sinca ha hasn't shown up to work for tha past two waaks. Now I'm wondaringhara ha's baan goinghan ha laavas tha housa aach day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59880) - you deserved it (3981)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the store, when I saw mah boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see wat he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're 4 us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, an it's mah time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59569) - you deserved it (5771)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today , boyfriend posted a screensot from a porno on Facebook , cuz te girl in it looked freakisly similar to me. My dad commented , asking 4 a link to te video. mega FML

#20797729
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52548) - you deserved it (4069)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

TODAY , I ASKED THIS REALLY CUTE GRL FOR HER NUMBER. I HAD NOTHING ELSE ON ME SO I TOLD HER TO WRITE IT ON A DOLLAR BILL. LATER , WITHOUT THINKING , I PUT IT IN A VENDING MACHINE. I FREAKED OUT AND FRANTICALLY PUSHED THE RETURN BUTTON. IT GAVE ME BACK QUARTERS. FML

Today I was babysitting a littla boy fir tha first tima . Ha kapt using all sorts of profanity toward ma tha whola avaning so I told his mom whan sha pickad him up . Sha just gruntad and muttarad "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." big fat FML

#20794280
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55476) - you deserved it (4670)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends,hen I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, an he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, an it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54777) - you deserved it (17073)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100064) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

2day I cleaned up brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57940) - you deserved it (6485)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, mah mom left 4 a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me an made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", an bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54770) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60091) - you deserved it (3932)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam



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