jdawg35527

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jdawg35527

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 332
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jdawg35527 : hey im Jake

jdawg35527's page activity

Visits<b>marleybree</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:36am<b>pygmyangel</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:31am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:15pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:53pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 3:15am<b>Rag_dollxx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 9:42pm<b>challan</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:26pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 8:53am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 4:16pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:37pm<b>NourHYK</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 4:05pm<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:34am<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 2:14pm<b>RichardDickanus</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 1:01pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 8:00pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:32pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:43pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 10:31pm

jdawg35527's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of jdawg35527's badges

jdawg35527's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

by BaconLover / 10/28/2013 at 12:58am / Japan / Love

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

by Mortified / 07/22/2009 at 5:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous