jdanxr

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Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 7:44pm)

jdanxr

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 559
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jdanxr's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

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jdanxr's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm / Israel / Intimacy

Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML

by mamagelmane / 08/08/2014 at 12:27am / France (Lorraine) / Kids

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML

by wtf? / 07/19/2014 at 1:53am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

by NoSexForMe / 07/13/2014 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

by Alex / 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

by pierced. / 06/25/2014 at 12:29am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

by massachusettsan / 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

by doubleCoupon / 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work