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jdanxr

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jdanxr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 161
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jdanxr's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

jdanxr's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (2472)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34425) - you deserved it (4100)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35215) - you deserved it (4474)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (7459)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
93 comments

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36709) - you deserved it (3710)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41276) - you deserved it (4728)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44367) - you deserved it (5104)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (2256)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35402) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (4746)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (6508)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39882) - you deserved it (3756)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (4686)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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