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Offline (the 08/21/2015 at 6:27pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1373
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jcroisdale's page activity

Visits<b>XXKatSlashXX</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:40pm<b>hawkknight</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:02pm<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:59pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>aljop</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:38am<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:03am<b>ZogerOx</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:03am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:12am

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jcroisdale's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

by wtf bro / 05/20/2015 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

by bigmouthedmommy / 04/13/2015 at 1:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

by Enslaved / 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

by titsmcgee / 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

by m33p / 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by Grrrreat / 02/04/2015 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

by okseñoryoucrazy / 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

by drop dead single / 11/22/2014 at 8:44am / United States / Love