jcrb

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jcrb

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1086
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jcrb's page activity

Visits<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 12:31pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 6:19pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 5:50pm<b>amburrjade</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 11:08pm<b>SlipSpaceGixxer</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:23am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:07pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:45pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:07am<b>gunnerette</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 9:21am<b>tayymeds</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 12:57am<b>RedHairedWolf</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Feremist</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:55pm<b>amyfann</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 6:05pm<b>mikepzz</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Scorcher255</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Brinibaby13</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:31pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 8:51pm

jcrb's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of jcrb's badges

jcrb's favorite FMLs

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

by GogurtBadass / 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health