jbond97

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Offline (the 10/08/2014 at 12:10am)

jbond97

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1217
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jbond97's page activity

Visits<b>shellyluv</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:01pm<b>lkmc121204</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:36am<b>oops1212</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:13am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:19pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:32pm<b>jeesh10</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 5:08am<b>shannly00</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:02am<b>Goldilocks1</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:49pm<b>thatguy021</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:43pm<b>headofmedusa</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:06pm<b>Shannon98</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:52pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:21pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Metcape</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:14am<b>bangxbang</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:26pm<b>demonhunter3220</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:27pm

jbond97's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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jbond97's favorite FMLs

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

by Potforapeso / 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

by iAmJasper / 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

by Crash / 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

by apparentlybutch / 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

by adeeri / 09/03/2014 at 9:24pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

by akieferr / 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

by mayoshampoo / 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

by mayoshampoo / 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous