About jbird1193 : I wanna know who follows me around and puts my whole life on this site. Anyway, message me. I dare you.
jbird1193's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
jbird1193's favorite FMLs
by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 8:53am / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Love
by Kebabjoon / 04/29/2011 at 7:36am / Spain / Work
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
by Celluloid / 04/29/2011 at 2:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
by nomorexbox / 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML
by lpspann87 / 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML
by Text / 04/25/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…