About jbird1193 : I wanna know who follows me around and puts my whole life on this site. Anyway, message me. I dare you.
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jbird1193's favorite FMLs
by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 8:53am / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Love
by Kebabjoon / 04/29/2011 at 7:36am / Spain / Work
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
by Celluloid / 04/29/2011 at 2:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
by nomorexbox / 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML
by lpspann87 / 04/25/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML
by Text / 04/25/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by woahitbechels / 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…