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jbe1091

Offline (the 05/25/2015 at 9:50pm) | Search for a member

jbe1091

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jbe1091jbe1091
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 376
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jbe1091 : Hi Im Josh. Im always down to chat. So don't hesitste to message me and you can also ask about my kik. Thanks :)

jbe1091's page activity

Visits<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - yesterday at 5:50pm<b>lalundsten</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:22am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:17am<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:57pm<b>jessie85678</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:46am<b>jennaclaire13</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 8:32am<b>jodiitiger</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:13am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:58am<b>catherine012</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:34am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 11:40am

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jbe1091's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my housemates are throwing a huge house party to celebrate finishing their finals. It's 4:30am and people are still arriving. I have my last final in 3 hours. FML

#21415194
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (1874)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by Party Pooper - United States

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (9214)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2135)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (2323)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my aunt, whom I live with, told me she is going to move out and demanded her half of the rent back, as she only spent two days a week there. When I told her that's not how rent works, she called my mom to tell her what a failure she had raised. Her own sons are unemployed drug addicts. FML

#21414120
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (1693)

On 05/22/2015 at 6:14pm - money - by Failure (woman) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (4044)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (1973)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29425) - you deserved it (3773)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, and for the past couple of days, my girlfriend's father has been trying to help me think of a way to propose. I decided to rehearse first, and that's how my girlfriend walked in on me "proposing" to her dad. FML

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29271) - you deserved it (2657)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (1854)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (18416)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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