About jbe1091 : Hi Im Josh. Im always down to chat. So don't hesitste to message me and you can also ask about my kik. Thanks :)
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jbe1091's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
by FUCKFACECUNT / 08/02/2015 at 9:32am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Work
by Wlanla / 08/02/2015 at 7:39am / Romania (Bacau) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/02/2015 at 5:16am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/02/2015 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML
by I'mMike / 08/01/2015 at 4:19pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Wow / 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Son of a Bitch / 08/01/2015 at 1:17pm / United States / Holidays
Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML
by Hellasboy / 08/01/2015 at 12:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
by funnnyyyyy -_- / 08/01/2015 at 4:29am / Nepal / Animals
Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML
by hook me up with some smack, Jack / 08/01/2015 at 2:18am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2015 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML
by hamiltonma / 07/31/2015 at 11:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML
by C_Ramirez1695 / 07/31/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals