jbe1091

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Offline (the 08/03/2015 at 5:22am)

jbe1091

11Fucked!

jbe1091jbe1091
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2503
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jbe1091 : Hi Im Josh. Im always down to chat. So don't hesitste to message me and you can also ask about my kik. Thanks :)

jbe1091's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:34pm<b>marleypuckpuck</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:34pm<b>jennaclaire13</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:14pm<b>bowmanwb</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:29am<b>MegasaurusRex89</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 11:57am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 8:08pm<b>EpicKassi</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:23am<b>joe54321</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:30am<b>styles829</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:48pm<b>huntercos</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:32am<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:00pm<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:32pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:45am<b>aishah77</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Ravensmoon666</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:30am<b>cat4651</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:28pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:25pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:22pm

Fucked!<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:00pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:39pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:23pm<b>rialbybba</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:35pm<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:14pm<b>elohnah</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:48pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:08pm<b>saffy66</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:58pm<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:20am<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:46pm

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jbe1091's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML

by FUCKFACECUNT / 08/02/2015 at 9:32am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Work

Today, my satan-spawn of a step-son proudly showed that he can pee accurately while standing up. I'd be less livid if he hadn't pissed on me while I was asleep in bed. FML

by Wlanla / 08/02/2015 at 7:39am / Romania (Bacau) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2015 at 5:16am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2015 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML

by I'mMike / 08/01/2015 at 4:19pm / United States (Florida) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

by Wow / 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, an hour into a family road trip, my mother informed me that she didn't put my suitcase in the car because it "didn't fit". FML

by Son of a Bitch / 08/01/2015 at 1:17pm / United States / Holidays

Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML

by Hellasboy / 08/01/2015 at 12:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

by funnnyyyyy -_- / 08/01/2015 at 4:29am / Nepal / Animals

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

by hook me up with some smack, Jack / 08/01/2015 at 2:18am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2015 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML

by hamiltonma / 07/31/2015 at 11:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

by C_Ramirez1695 / 07/31/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.