Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jazzy_123

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

jazzy_123

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4909
  • Number of comments : 598
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About jazzy_123 : My picture is cute x) smile guys! I love Harry Potter (the movies) as a kid I thought it was lame so I never read the books, but now I actually read em! "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" ;p

jazzy_123's page activity

Visits<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:18am<b>ilovemsminaj</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:36am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:30am<b>jankes433</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:16pm<b>AikoRose</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:46am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:17am<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:30am<b>newzealand</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:01am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:24pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:14am<b>fyl_im_fab</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:34pm<b>drghost</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:52pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 10:45am<b>don_sean</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 10:17am<b>54MU31</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 2:16am<b>usmanx86</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:48pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 7:50am

Liked!<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:31am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:50pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:40am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:05pm

jazzy_123's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of jazzy_123's badges

jazzy_123's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21038) - you deserved it (26670)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

#21359996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (2523)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (3405)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (4810)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

#21349786
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (3231)

On 02/04/2015 at 4:49pm - misc - by jl_word - United States

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

#21346352
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (2099)

On 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (12834)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17460) - you deserved it (11202)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (2426)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34498) - you deserved it (6674)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30352) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (38612)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: