jardinteylor

Search for a member

jardinteylor

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5069
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

jardinteylor's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 3:09pm<b>nishcabob</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:36pm<b>hellobobismyname</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 8:30pm<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:01am<b>LazyFlan</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:47pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:20pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:05am<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:27am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:05pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:20pm<b>goodlifenah</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:48am<b>californian21</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:43pm<b>japcrap</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:34am<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:02pm<b>Tantive_6</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:01pm<b>TStiles</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:20pm<b>PegasusHeart</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:33am

Fucked!<b>Loveme_Hateme16</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:51am

jardinteylor's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jardinteylor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

by Momlovesme / 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

by Screwed / 08/07/2009 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

by goin4broke / 08/07/2009 at 11:23am / United States (West Virginia) / Money

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

by Prego my ego / 07/23/2009 at 1:39pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

by SBT1030 / 07/23/2009 at 7:45am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

by Gordon / 07/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

by Mortified / 07/22/2009 at 5:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

by fattie4life / 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

by msj137 / 07/17/2009 at 3:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML

by kelscait / 07/01/2009 at 6:26pm / United States / Intimacy