About jakeisawake : Jake.6'5", mostly italian and then white. Don't take me seriously. I'm most likely joking. I have a twisted sense of humor at times .Definite Braves fan. The Used is one of the greatest bands along with Chiodos, A Day to Remember, and Drop Dead Gorgeous. Oh, and A Love Like Pi. I am a gerontophobic. I love sushi. Music fanatic; I sing when I get ready in the morning. in the shower, brushing teeth, all that stuff. I sleep alot. Godddd i love sleep. I'm waiting for a zombie apocalypse. I watch all the films enough to know how to survive. I watch more movies than most, and I like "out there" films. Favorite director is M. Night Shyamalan.
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jakeisawake's favorite FMLs
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML
by jfranklin / 10/17/2010 at 9:39pm / United States / Love
Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML
by cinderella / 09/27/2010 at 10:47am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Intimacy
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML
by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML
by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
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