jakeisawake

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jakeisawake

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1908
  • Number of comments : 294
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jakeisawake : Jake.6'5", mostly italian and then white. Don't take me seriously. I'm most likely joking. I have a twisted sense of humor at times .Definite Braves fan. The Used is one of the greatest bands along with Chiodos, A Day to Remember, and Drop Dead Gorgeous. Oh, and A Love Like Pi. I am a gerontophobic. I love sushi. Music fanatic; I sing when I get ready in the morning. in the shower, brushing teeth, all that stuff. I sleep alot. Godddd i love sleep. I'm waiting for a zombie apocalypse. I watch all the films enough to know how to survive. I watch more movies than most, and I like "out there" films. Favorite director is M. Night Shyamalan.

jakeisawake's page activity

Visits<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:37pm<b>emo_and_supreme</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:31am<b>maybellina</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:23am<b>noah_1234</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:56pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:30am<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:50pm<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:19pm<b>booman342</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:11am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Bolai</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:13pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:48am<b>hittywoo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:57pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:03am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:39pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:41pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:57pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 4:54am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:00am<b>madi113</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:53am

jakeisawake's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

jakeisawake's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML

by jfranklin / 10/17/2010 at 9:39pm / United States / Love

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

by cinderella / 09/27/2010 at 10:47am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Intimacy

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love