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jacob276985

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jacob276985
  • Town/Country : Edmonton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 17
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jacob276985's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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jacob276985's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48608) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55912) - you deserved it (5417)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43648) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15129) - you deserved it (332376)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
817 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (463286)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (74825)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18903) - you deserved it (66908)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21628) - you deserved it (71660)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)



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