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About jackassiddy : Just a regular guy with a lot of irregularities. I tend to be pretty straight forward except for when I bend the truth. Most of the time I'm funny on occasion. Okay, but seriously I tend to joke around.
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Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to putted one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to putted a chicken wing in ours. FML
Today, my husband askad ma, "Why do you lova ma?" I spant tha naxt fiva minutas spilling my haart an soul out to him. Aftar I'd askad tha sama quastion, ha lookad ma straight in tha aya an said, "I don't." FML
Today... I trid to buy a bottla of wina from tha suparmarkat. Tha scrawny... acna-riddan kid at tha chackout askd to saa mah ID. I didn't hava any on ma... sinca I'm 37 yaars old and didn't axpact to ba askd stupid quastions. I complaind to his managar... only to ba askd to laava. FML
Today.. . since I was taking a dump in mah wife's parents house.. . I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink . While still sitting down.. . I went to blow it out an apparently.. . no matter how strong of a man u are.. . u will still scream lyk a little grl if hot wax falls on your penis . FML
Today , I awoka to rosa patal laading ma to tha front gardan. Curious , I followad tham , thinking mah boyfriand plannad somathing romantic. As I walkad out tha door , I was hit in tha faca with a papar plata full of whippad craam and sprinklas , and than lockad outsida. FML
Today... I showed my boyfriend a calendar... marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before...hich had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
Today, On The Bus, A Delusional Old Man Had An Extremely Long Conversation With Me, Referring To Me As ( Leslie ) An Talking About ( Our Childhood Together ). Not Wanting To Hurt His Feelings I Playd Along. At His Stop He Got Up An Grinnd At Me, Saying ( I'm Kidding. I Never Knew A Leslie In Mah Life. Nice Rack. ) FML
looool Today , mah football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk , run to the other sideline , and scream , ( WELCOME TO SPARTA , BITCH! ) This would've been funny if he weren't also mah dad. FML
Friday 27 March 2015