Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 07/10/2015 at 9:01am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 January 1962 (54 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1204
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About jack_jill05 : im kind of awkard, so sorry. im not really sure what to put here so here goes. i like to watch TV (i have so many favorites its ridiculous) i also really love movies, of pretty much all genres. im currently in a relationship with high school.. its complicated.. im a total band geek. i love listening to every genre of music, and i play clarient and piano in marching band. my dog is my best friend, ever. i used to live in Oklahoma, but now im back in New York, where i was orginally from. you can message me, if you want to know more or want to be friends or whatever, just dont say "hey" or "youre pretty" be creative or im not going to respond. also, dont make it weird. also, the place it says i live is supposed to read 'urine sample'. Chandler from FRIENDS said it, if you didnt know that you should just leave. like seriously leave right now. may the force be with you.

jack_jill05's page activity

Visits<b>dno79</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:08am<b>sunnystephie420</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:58pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:42pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:53am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:00am<b>xxRAGINGxDILDOxx</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 12:05am<b>Racheecha</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:45pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:43pm<b>loghomer</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ImDeliriouss</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 2:21pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:57am<b>superuser1234</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:54pm<b>kettlecooked</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 7:13pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 7:49am<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:41am<b>tehbosss</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 2:53am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:24pm<b>austinwalker09</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:13pm

Fucked!<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:25pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:38pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:16am<b>amileah13</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:42am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:45pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:21pm<b>willrich7</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:35pm<b>kingofthediamond</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:04am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:01am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 7:21pm<b>thecoon99</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:13pm<b>baxwar</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:22pm<b>alex_jones2312</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:57am<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:37pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:57am<b>808andheartbreak</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:28am<b>TheAsianStefan</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:02pm

jack_jill05's FML badges


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of jack_jill05's badges

jack_jill05's favorite FMLs

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47361) - you deserved it (4374)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (2921)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (12503)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was replaced in the symphony I play in. I play the clarinet, and a standard symphony only uses two, so getting into one can be quite competitive. My conductor's reasoning? "I was sure you were going to college." I never mentioned college to him, other than saying I wasn't going. FML

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45257) - you deserved it (4391)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43614) - you deserved it (3808)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: