About jaala123 : I am batman.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
jaala123's favorite FMLs
by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting. As I went to leave the bathroom, someone grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut. I figured it was one of the kids and told them to knock it off. A second later, the grip let off. There was no one there and the kids were still asleep. I don't know what to think. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 11:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML
by lovedoesnotexist / 09/24/2015 at 7:52am / Belgium / Love
by brookenicolee29 / 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML
by i suck, this i know :( / 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm / Malawi (Blantyre) / Love
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
- Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room,… Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just… Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was…
- Today, I was watching horror stories alone in my room. It got to the climax of the story and my cat… Today, I was playing video games in the dark and drinking soda during the slow periods. When I took… Today, while changing my 10 week old baby's nappy and everything was going fine as usual. Just as I…