About j_cat187 : I'm not wearing pants. Are You?
j_cat187's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
j_cat187's favorite FMLs
Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2014 at 11:02am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML
by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
by Woops / 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by emmamrose7 / 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2014 at 1:24pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…