Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

izzie321

Search for a member

izzie321
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1810
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About izzie321 : Hello! My name is Izzie (Short for Isabella) I did MMA for awhile, I do track, I ride horses, and I play both Playstation and Xbox, but I prefer Playstation. I love my best friend, Mary Jane ;) I get pissed off easily so don't fuck with me. I'm bisexual and my kik is "boxerlola". NO NUDES. I REPEAT, NO NUDES. Don't molext me. That's not ok.

izzie321's last visitors

AlexMercer909090jmx14ComoEsJuanWhorunstheworldtygerarmyMalloryEGoingCommando93S232Flash

izzie321's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of izzie321's badges

izzie321's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (2362)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (2837)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47383) - you deserved it (2546)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52090) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34826) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44734) - you deserved it (9902)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55873) - you deserved it (2830)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46294) - you deserved it (5534)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (7325)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62857) - you deserved it (3791)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50899) - you deserved it (7455)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42407) - you deserved it (4565)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: