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iwasborn_naked

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iwasborn_naked

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iwasborn_naked : lalalalaaaa

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iwasborn_naked's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52236) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40522) - you deserved it (9544)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66303) - you deserved it (8437)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

#20836449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50751) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28470) - you deserved it (39827)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (5128)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45067) - you deserved it (10376)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65189) - you deserved it (6603)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (12709)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47132) - you deserved it (6428)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41859) - you deserved it (8815)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34796) - you deserved it (3481)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML

#8005282
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10034) - you deserved it (28944)

On 02/08/2010 at 5:52am - health - by preggers (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

#3469225
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37870) - you deserved it (3174)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got my yearbook for senior year in high school. I started what everyone does, which is count how many times I appear in the yearbook. I stopped when I found a prominent photo of me, picking my nose in class. FML

#3305444
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16736) - you deserved it (46999)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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